Between Hope and Reality

 Hope for love can be destructive.  Dreams and thoughts can dance together forming a beautiful and dangerous tango.  Both influencing each other until reality is lost in thoughts, and dreams hold unrealistic hopes.

I tend to feel emotions quickly and strongly, including these hopes that can be destructive.  I have learned to build walls in the past year to protect me from this type of hope.  These walls have protected me from rejection and from the possible pain of love.  Walls that have allowed friends through, but never love.  These walls have allowed me to be myself.  They’ve allowed me to live in reality without skewing emotions.  

Hope for love can’t be locked up forever though.  Abandoning hope can be destructive.  Without hope the walls will swallow you whole and can hurt more than unrealized hopes.  The dance is safer, but not as beautiful with walls. Perhaps hope of love is worth the dangerous dance with reality; and abandoned dreams could still be a reality.  

A reality where walls were used for protection for a time, but were knocked down by discarding pretenses.  Where being open to the possibility of love allows for a deeper unselfish connection.  A reality where just maybe he feels a little hope too and a small glance and a shared smile turn into a shy hug.  Where hope puts a crack in a wall, and even if nothing but friendship comes, there is a glimmer, a spark of feelings, somewhere between hope and reality.