Messy Love

I came across this video a while ago and the song has been stuck in my head this morning so I looked it up again.  I really like the song, but I always thought it was a little simplistic. It sings about how God loves us. But I don’t think God’s love is quite as simplistic as we tend to generalize it.  It is extremely easy to brush over the phrases “God is love” or “God loves you” or on and on, probably because I’ve heard them for my entire life.  There are times when I can comprehend God’s love for me more than other times.  Normally it is when I have gone through something that has hurt me emotionally or made me question life in its entirety.  I experienced this last summer.  I was so sure my life was going to go one direction and it suddenly went a completely different way.

It of course had to do with being interested in a guy who ended up liking someone else.  I think if a guy ever wants to get married he should just have me like them; men seem to meet the one they are going to marry as soon as I get emotionally attached.  I remember mentally yelling at God during this time and basically telling him He didn’t know what it was like to intensely like someone so much and have them not return the feelings. 

Oops. I instantly felt like he was yelling right back at me and reminding me of generations of people who have not loved him back.  There was the first time with Adam and Eve, then the Israelites who were his people that he did more for than I could ever mention in this post, and they turned away from him over and over again….then the people Jesus physically preached to who rejected, beat, and killed him, and then there is us.  Even as Christians it is hard to grasp God’s love.  We try to not conform to those around us, but can end up instead trying to follow too many rules and come across as trying to be better than everyone and judgmental, and because it is impossible to be perfect we can come across as hypocritical.  Instead of trying to follow all of these rules it is just love that God wants from us.  The rest falls in place naturally after that.  I don’t mean just regular love.  When you love God more than anything then you want to love the people he loves.  Us messy, sloppy, problematic humans.  You see others as God sees them and want to love them to the point of putting their needs in front of yours, and not just the easy people to love.  Lastly God reminded me of how often I have turned away and He’s been there for me.  I have definitely done my share of sins and hypocrisy and now continually thank Him for grace and know that I could never be good enough on my own.

 I really like in the clip below how the writer of the song talks about the love in this song being meant as a love that is willing to love something messy, gross, and difficult.  It is easy to love things that are pretty and clean and hard to love the messy.

 

Home Brewed Laundry Soap

A few months ago I found a recipe online to make your own laundry soap.  At first I was skeptical about it working but wanted to try it.  The best part is that it is costing me less than $1.00 to make 2 gallons worth of laundry soap, and it lasted me four months.  Great savings compared to buying it in stores!!!  It works well so far...I'm wondering if it doesn't keep my clothes as bright or my white clothes super white...but it's cheap and makes me feel a little domestic.

I decided to share the recipe in case anyone wants to venture trying it.  I'm not sure how it works for people with sensitive skin (there's my disclaimer!).  Have fun!!!

Ingredients:

The Soap:  One whole bar of Ivory Soap. 

Washing Soda: Not the same thing as baking soda!! Washing soda is a white powder and its purpose is to help remove dirt and orders. I found an Arm & Hammer Washing Soda in the laundry section at Fred Meyer.  I couldn't find it anywhere else but I've heard it is relatively easy to find.

Borax: Also a white powder in the laundry section.  It’s purpose is as a laundry whitener and deodorizer. The brand I found is 20 Mule Team.  

1.    Grate the soap and put it in a sauce pan.  Add 6 cups water and heat it up until the soap melts.

2.     Add the washing soda and the borax and stir until it is dissolved.  Remove from heat.

3.    Pour 4 cups hot water into a 2 gallon bucket. 

4.    Add the soap mixture and stir.

5.    Add 1 gallon plus 6 cups of water and stir.

6.   Let the soap sit for 24 hours and it will gel.  Use about 1/2 cup per load of laundry.


The finished soap is not a solid gel and looks more watery, like egg noodle soup.....

It is a low sudsing soap so if there are no suds in the washing machine that is ok!!  It is the ingredients that cleans the clothes not the suds...I hope.

And also....if you want your soap to have some sort of scent you can add 1/2 to 1 oz of essential oil or fragrance oil of your choice!! I have not tried this part yet, but it is supposed to work.

So there you have it.....cheap, home made laundry soap...it cleans and you can choose your scent. Stay clean!

Financial Management and Buying Goats

Sometimes I think too much.  Sometimes I even think about how I think too much, and I analyze everything.  Sometimes it is good and other times it is really draining. See….now I’m analyzing if it is good or bad that I analyze everything I think about….

This is why I journal or sometimes write; to get it all out of my head or it gets lost who knows where.  My latest thoughts have been an accumulation of different books or things that have come to my attention and trying to process them all.  They all have seemed to go in the same direction though which has had me contemplating our hope, loving others, and really wanting to make a difference in peoples lives. 

I read a book called “Outlive Your Life” by Max Lucado.  Well worth the read.  Basically it talks about how we are average people living regular lives (work, jobs, school) and how we can wonder if God can use people like us.  It addresses the staggering figures of the poor, the hungry, and the lonely.  And how we can help bring hope to the poor and hungry, and just love them. It makes me want to be part of something bigger than being a secretary.  It also made me realize how much I have compared to other parts of the world.  I guess I have always known this, but quite frankly never really thought about it much.

I realized how easy it is to waste money.  I grew up in a pastor’s family with five kids, so we were definitely not well off.  But I never thought of us as poor and compared to others I suppose we were; yet so much richer than a lot of others.  It was a good childhood.  I then moved to NY where I had a really good job and quite frankly did not have to really worry about money.  I could buy whatever groceries I wanted and not have to worry about budgeting for it, I could take friends out for dinners whenever I wanted, I literally went out to lunch every day with co-workers, and I shopped….all the time.  When all my clothes were dirty and I didn’t feel like going to the laundry mat, I just went shopping.  Kinda sickens me now looking back.

I have gotten a lot more conscientious about what I spend my money on now.  I have a strict budge that I either love or hate Dave Ramsey for; I haven’t decided yet! I’ve really been trying to evaluate where my money goes and how I spend it.  Quite frankly a lot of it just goes to apartment bills now….but after being extremely dedicated and making higher payments for a few months now, my car is now paid off!!! It is really exciting but I think I was expecting to feel more excited than I did…because now I have to pay down a little bit of credit card that may take about a year.

It’s been really convicting and a challenge to learn how to prioritize my finances.  And now it has been convicting to try to figure out a way to give to those less fortunate and make a difference by loving people.  There are some amazing organizations out there that I would love to be able to give to.  Organizations that help give water to people in Africa for a year for only one dollar.  ONE DOLLAR!....and then there are some that you can purchase goats and chickens for families to be able to support themselves by selling eggs and milk and cheese at markets.  I probably could have bought three goats for the price of one of my shopping trips that I went on when living in NY.  But even more so I want to be involved in people’s lives and just care about them.  I sometimes wonder what I could even do for others.  But I do know that I have had people in my life who have always been there to encourage, talk, and love me when I feel like my life is nothing like I thought it would be or am tempted to mope.  Maybe following their lead and just reaching out to others is a start…..and instead of binge shopping, I’ll be more intentional with what I buy and maybe have some additional money for some goats that way.