Sometimes I think too much. Sometimes I even think about how I think too much, and I analyze everything. Sometimes it is good and other times it is really draining. See….now I’m analyzing if it is good or bad that I analyze everything I think about….
This is why I journal or sometimes write; to get it all out of my head or it gets lost who knows where. My latest thoughts have been an accumulation of different books or things that have come to my attention and trying to process them all. They all have seemed to go in the same direction though which has had me contemplating our hope, loving others, and really wanting to make a difference in peoples lives.
I read a book called “Outlive Your Life” by Max Lucado. Well worth the read. Basically it talks about how we are average people living regular lives (work, jobs, school) and how we can wonder if God can use people like us. It addresses the staggering figures of the poor, the hungry, and the lonely. And how we can help bring hope to the poor and hungry, and just love them. It makes me want to be part of something bigger than being a secretary. It also made me realize how much I have compared to other parts of the world. I guess I have always known this, but quite frankly never really thought about it much.
I realized how easy it is to waste money. I grew up in a pastor’s family with five kids, so we were definitely not well off. But I never thought of us as poor and compared to others I suppose we were; yet so much richer than a lot of others. It was a good childhood. I then moved to NY where I had a really good job and quite frankly did not have to really worry about money. I could buy whatever groceries I wanted and not have to worry about budgeting for it, I could take friends out for dinners whenever I wanted, I literally went out to lunch every day with co-workers, and I shopped….all the time. When all my clothes were dirty and I didn’t feel like going to the laundry mat, I just went shopping. Kinda sickens me now looking back.
I have gotten a lot more conscientious about what I spend my money on now. I have a strict budge that I either love or hate Dave Ramsey for; I haven’t decided yet! I’ve really been trying to evaluate where my money goes and how I spend it. Quite frankly a lot of it just goes to apartment bills now….but after being extremely dedicated and making higher payments for a few months now, my car is now paid off!!! It is really exciting but I think I was expecting to feel more excited than I did…because now I have to pay down a little bit of credit card that may take about a year.
It’s been really convicting and a challenge to learn how to prioritize my finances. And now it has been convicting to try to figure out a way to give to those less fortunate and make a difference by loving people. There are some amazing organizations out there that I would love to be able to give to. Organizations that help give water to people in Africa for a year for only one dollar. ONE DOLLAR!....and then there are some that you can purchase goats and chickens for families to be able to support themselves by selling eggs and milk and cheese at markets. I probably could have bought three goats for the price of one of my shopping trips that I went on when living in NY. But even more so I want to be involved in people’s lives and just care about them. I sometimes wonder what I could even do for others. But I do know that I have had people in my life who have always been there to encourage, talk, and love me when I feel like my life is nothing like I thought it would be or am tempted to mope. Maybe following their lead and just reaching out to others is a start…..and instead of binge shopping, I’ll be more intentional with what I buy and maybe have some additional money for some goats that way.
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