Forever Like That

I have been loving “love” lately.  Not me being in love or longing for it but just the whole idea of love: the good, the bad, the commitment, and the securities and insecurities of being with another person.  Ultimately the whole idea of love and being human and able to build a relationship is beautiful.

I had a fun girls’ weekend over the past few days.  It was a blast.  We had a great time involved eating, shopping, eating, a concert, eating, and movies.  I love girl weekends….because I love laughing and eating…a lot.

At the concert we went to the opening act blew me away and I overwhelmingly felt a sense of how amazing it is that we have the ability to build relationships.  I do mean romantic relationships when I refer to building relationships however I have been building friendships lately, and even those amaze me sometimes with how we are able to connect with certain people.  

I was inspired at the concert I went to with the girls to really just appreciate all that is “love” even while not being in a romantic relationship.  Couples make me smile nowadays and not out of jealousy and want for my own love story to be written but out of joy that they have found something worth working for.  I think that is what it ultimately comes down to, finding someone that makes you want to work on a relationship even when you can drive each other crazy and still love and stick with through the crazy times of life.

All that to say, here is a beautiful song called Forever Like That by Ben Rector that was played at the concert this weekend.  It is currently unreleased and unrecorded but I hope it is soon.

Embracing Awkwardness

I always have random adventures with my friends.  I love being part of multiple unique groups of people and have enjoyed how my groups of friends have morphed over the years. 

I seem to have had many awkward experiences with my friends.  I’m beginning to wonder if things just happen to me in general or if these different groups of people tend allow awkwardness to occur more freely.  I have to admit that I kind of like awkwardness.  It makes life feel more real rather than pretending that we all have perfect lives.

Many of these awkward experiences stories I have had with my friends would cause me to die laughing while trying to reminisce about them. If people heard them we would probably have to attribute them to a “you had to be there” moment.  My friends do on occasion swap “Awkward Moments with Andrea” stories and I am still unsure how I feel about that.

I have come to the conclusion that awkward moments are good for you.  I’ve been trying to figure out if I am awkward lately, and maybe the answer is yes.  But then, who isn’t?  Who doesn’t have stories about tugging on mouse tales while thinking it was a piece of tire, accidentally strattling a guy while trying to climb on bleachers (while having string cheese breathe of course), getting lost repeatedly with directions and ending up who knows where, and embarrassing Dance Dance Revolution finales.

Sometimes embracing awkward moments rather than sulking away in embarrassment may be the better option.  It creates more friendships….or at least creates more stories for your friends to compare and have a common ground to talk about when meeting each other…

Mourning and Rejoicing

The Bible talks about mourning with those who mourn and rejoicing with those who rejoice.  Even though it is from the Bible this is an interesting concept for both Christians and non-Christians.

This came up recently for me when a friend asked if it hurt me that she was getting married.  I was taken aback a little because I didn’t realize what she was asking and at first thought she was insulting me.  I eventually put together that she was asking me if I was hurt because she was getting married and I am not married.  She was trying to be thoughtful but didn’t quite know how to approach the subject.

She felt bad sharing her wedding plans and excitement with me and worried that I in turn would be sad that I was not getting married.  I am actually thrilled when people get married (unless I feel I was supposed to be the one to marry that person and that God didn’t answer my prayers and that my life is ruined and….oh wait….different topic).

I may on occasion mourn being single.  If I marry someday I will probably on occasion mourn NOT being single.

I gladly get excited with my friends when they begin exciting new phases of their lives.  This does not just include marriage but other life changing journeys as well.

A big part of life is not only mourning with each other but also rejoicing with each other.  I would say that anyone close to me in my life has experienced not only mourning with me but also some amazing excitement.

Ironically we can mourn and rejoice in the same experiences and situations.  Sometimes we don’t know how to mourn with others so we avoid the situation entirely, or we don’t know how to rejoice with others for their excitement when our own pain can be so strong.

The greatest thing I admire in other people is open genuine honesty.  It shows strength to be vulnerable. I continually question when I am being open with someone with my struggles if they are the type of person to use that vulnerability against me.  They may use them against me, but sometimes being vulnerable also opens up a door for the other person to relate and be vulnerable as well.

It is easier to bottle up our pain and frustrations from each other and protect ourselves.  But is that really better in the long run?  And isn’t it more divisive to hide our struggles than to use them to build each other up and encourage each other?

Some of my most encouraging moments have come from when people have been vulnerable with me and talked about what they struggle with.  Most of the time I think “No way!! You too?” in these moments. 

Mourning and rejoicing with each other builds bonds.  It builds community and unity.  So why do we try to avoid being vulnerable with each other so much?  It seems like we should embrace mourning and rejoicing with each other head on. 

I know that anyone who has mourned with me over my singleness will be the first to rejoice with me someday when I am no loner single.  They are also the ones that know it is a weakness of mine and creates self-esteem issues for me and have continually been there for me. And they have been able to see how God has been able to use this weakness of mine for His purposes.  With that being said how can they not mourn with me in my weaknesses but rejoice with me in them all at the same time?