Mourning and Rejoicing

The Bible talks about mourning with those who mourn and rejoicing with those who rejoice.  Even though it is from the Bible this is an interesting concept for both Christians and non-Christians.

This came up recently for me when a friend asked if it hurt me that she was getting married.  I was taken aback a little because I didn’t realize what she was asking and at first thought she was insulting me.  I eventually put together that she was asking me if I was hurt because she was getting married and I am not married.  She was trying to be thoughtful but didn’t quite know how to approach the subject.

She felt bad sharing her wedding plans and excitement with me and worried that I in turn would be sad that I was not getting married.  I am actually thrilled when people get married (unless I feel I was supposed to be the one to marry that person and that God didn’t answer my prayers and that my life is ruined and….oh wait….different topic).

I may on occasion mourn being single.  If I marry someday I will probably on occasion mourn NOT being single.

I gladly get excited with my friends when they begin exciting new phases of their lives.  This does not just include marriage but other life changing journeys as well.

A big part of life is not only mourning with each other but also rejoicing with each other.  I would say that anyone close to me in my life has experienced not only mourning with me but also some amazing excitement.

Ironically we can mourn and rejoice in the same experiences and situations.  Sometimes we don’t know how to mourn with others so we avoid the situation entirely, or we don’t know how to rejoice with others for their excitement when our own pain can be so strong.

The greatest thing I admire in other people is open genuine honesty.  It shows strength to be vulnerable. I continually question when I am being open with someone with my struggles if they are the type of person to use that vulnerability against me.  They may use them against me, but sometimes being vulnerable also opens up a door for the other person to relate and be vulnerable as well.

It is easier to bottle up our pain and frustrations from each other and protect ourselves.  But is that really better in the long run?  And isn’t it more divisive to hide our struggles than to use them to build each other up and encourage each other?

Some of my most encouraging moments have come from when people have been vulnerable with me and talked about what they struggle with.  Most of the time I think “No way!! You too?” in these moments. 

Mourning and rejoicing with each other builds bonds.  It builds community and unity.  So why do we try to avoid being vulnerable with each other so much?  It seems like we should embrace mourning and rejoicing with each other head on. 

I know that anyone who has mourned with me over my singleness will be the first to rejoice with me someday when I am no loner single.  They are also the ones that know it is a weakness of mine and creates self-esteem issues for me and have continually been there for me. And they have been able to see how God has been able to use this weakness of mine for His purposes.  With that being said how can they not mourn with me in my weaknesses but rejoice with me in them all at the same time?