I have been learning about hospitality this week. I know this sounds elementary but it is something I have been thinking about. I love helping to organize events or parties and spoiling others. It is always stressful but I really enjoy seeing other people have a good time with each other. What I never seem to remember to do is invite people over or open up my home. It is normally last minute when people come over and quite frankly, most people have to invite themselves over (which I love!). What I have been trying to smack into my head lately is that everything doesn’t have to be perfect to invite someone over. Yes, I prefer the apartment to be clean and I would love to wow them with my best meal, but that is not really the most important reason to open up my home.
A lot of times when I don’t initiate conversations or reach out to people it’s because I personally can feel self-conscious. I guess in a way I figure “why would they even want to come over to my house?” In our society there are many things people can do other than come over to my house. We’re not exactly the most personal society, we are extremely fast paced and love being efficient.
I am reading a book by Max Lucado right now called “Outlive Your Life”. It’s been a good book so far that I would actually highly recommend. One of the chapters I read this week was on opening up your door and heart to others. At one point he mentioned that “In a church auditorium you see the backs of heads. Around the table you see the expressions of faces”. I think I liked this phrase because so many times we can just go to church on Sundays and not even really think about the others in church that are in our church family. Are we really even mentally present or just waiting to get to the Sunday afternoon nap or football part? Anyone can put on a happy face on Sunday and who really knows how they are doing?
I realized in a way I need to get over myself with the thoughts of “why would people even want to come over to my house”. As much as my thoughts are self-doubt they are also excuses for me to stay holed up in my life and not share it with anyone, because it can be dangerously painful letting people too close.
Another part of the chapter that I like was that it stated “When you open your door to someone, you are sending this message: You matter to me and to God.” You may think you are saying, “Come over for a visit.” But what your guest hears is, “I’m worth the effort.” I have many friends that have invited me over to share in random spaghetti or soup meals that have literally made me feel like I was worth the effort.
So I’m going to try to not listen to my Martha Stewart voice anymore telling me that things have to be absolutely perfect. Because really my life isn’t perfect, whose is? And I know way too many people that are worth the effort to invite over to ignore opening up my home. I had made soup the other night before a study that was going on at my apartment. It was just soup, literally some spices and water that I added noodles to. Some of the girls that showed up had come straight from work or soccer and were able to grab a bowl, it was a little thing and really didn’t take much time to make but it was nice to be able to do even a small thing like have some good healthy soup for them if they wanted. It didn’t have to be the Stuffed Cheese Manicotti with Olive Garden Salad and Whine. It is still fun to be able to spoil people and throw parties. But I think I will try to be more intentional with having people over with the attitude of “they are worth inviting over” instead of the “why would they want to come over” one.
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