Yummy Broccoli Cheddar Soup!

I have recently joined the Smart Phone craze.  I put it off for so many years…mostly because I didn’t want to pay for it.  I have so far managed to not get addicted to angry birds or many variations of scrabble.  What I did discover was some useful apps though! Particularly a free recipe app.  So if I am shopping at the store I can just look up a recipe on my phone.

I tried this recipe out last night and it was pretty tasty.  It was a little peppery for me so I may add less pepper next time, but if you like Broccoli Cheddar soup then try it!  It is quick and easy.

1 Tbsp olive oil

1 medium onion chopped

¼ Cup Flour

½ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon Dried thyme

¾ teaspoon pepper

2 Cups milk

1 Large bunch of Broccoli chopped into 1 inch pieces

1 ½ Cups cheddar cheese shredded

1 Cup water

1 Chicken Bouillon cube

In a saucepan heat olive oil over medium heat.  Add onion and cook until golden (about 10 minutes), stirring occasionally.  Stir in flour, salt, thyme, and ¾ tsp pepper; cook 2 minutes, stirring frequently.

Gradually stir in milk, chicken bullion cube, 1 Cup water; add broccoli and heat to boiling over high heat.  Reduce heat to low; cover and simmer until broccoli is tender, about 10 minutes.

Remove saucepan from heat; stir in cheese until melted and smooth. Serve.

Enjoy!

Girlish Things

I have had an amazing time being girly and domestic this past week.  Its hard to fit in time to do this with having a full-time job and busy evening schedules but I absolutely love taking time to myself and enjoying sewing, cooking, gardening, etc.   I've taken some pictures of a few of the fun things I've been enjoying lately so this will be more of a picture blog than anything today:

I got to visit my sister and we took my nieces and nephew out to a You Pick farm and picked blueberries.  My nephew and niece poured their bowls into my bowl and then advised me that I owed them a quarter.  Apparently their parents give them a quarter when they fill up their bowls and consolidate them.  Good thing I had quarters with me!

I ended up with a ton of beautiful blueberries:

I then decided to try out my sewing machine that my mom gave to me for Christmas last year and made my first apron:

And now that I have an apron; I decided to break it in by making some yummy blueberry muffins with the blueberries I picked:

And finally, what better way to top off a week of being girly and domestic than to go to a tea party with some really close friends??  We had some amazingly good food that we all made and devoured.......I mean daintily devoured.  There's nothing like making chicken sandwiches, cucumber sandwiches, salmon sandwiches, truffles, cookies, butter tarts, pastries, and chocolates covered strawberries with eight females running around  the kitchen.  So much fun!

Divorcing God: Bitterness and Disappointment

I recently finished filling out my red journal where I write down sermon notes, prayers, conversations with God, verses and poems/lyrics that I enjoy.  In the past it has taken me three to four years to fill out a journal but this one only took a little over a year.  So of course I went out and bought a brand new journal which I love doing once one is completed.  Even more so than getting a new journal, I like to go back and read through my journal to remind myself what I have been through and what God has taught and shown me.

This past year and a half has by far been the most soul searching year I have ever gone through.  There have been so many ups and downs and confusion and clarity all jumbled together that I don’t know if I will ever be able to look back and fully understand how much just this last year has impacted the rest of my life.
 

One thing that is always refreshing to see in my journal entries is that no matter what emotion I am going through pain/happiness/grief/feeling loved etc….God remains faithfully the same and is continually the center of what I want my life to reflect.


I’ve been through a lot of pain, bitterness and disappointment this past year.  Through the pain of friends moving, two grandmothers passing away, rejected relationships, life changing health diagnosis that sucks…etc.  But there have also been amazing blessings as well, God has provided me with an AMAZING job, I have friends that are awesome, I have been realizing how great my family is even if we are a little crazy, I have met some great ladies to be friends with in the area, I have been truly blessed by being able to be involved in different ministries with youth…I could keep going on and on.  Even more overwhelmingly so this year I have felt God’s presence in my life more than I ever have before.  I’ve had yelling matches with Him, quality time, been shown amazing things about myself and how He sees me as well as others, been bitter at Him for having a different plan for my life than my own; and have fallen in love with Him all over again. 


Over the past few months I have heard multiple sermons, read books, and even had conversations that keep highlighting the same topic:  Disappointment in God.  I haven’t purposefully been trying to focus on this subject and I don’t know that a few months ago I would’ve said that I was disappointed in God.  For sure there are things in my life that I wish were different but saying I am disappointed in God sounds just wrong to me.  


It’s true though.  In fact, it’s very easy to be disappointed in God; which easily turns to bitterness.  Far too often it is easy to think of God as a genie in a lamp in a way.  That if I just pray for His will then he will give me my desires. It is a nice thought to think of God giving us what we desire because He loves us.  I have realized over and over though that this is not the case.  I may desire something that is good, but this doesn’t mean it is God’s plan for me, or that it is good for me at this time in my life, He knows better than me.


Take my love life for example.  It is so easy to continually ask God for a strong Christian husband.  I know that if God ever does (or when he does) answer that prayer than I will make a great wife and mother.  Heck, I know how to sew, make homemade laundry soap, can some food, and am a decent cook, so that all has to count for something!  It is easy to wonder what in the world is wrong with me that no guy likes me and to become bitter.  But then…what guy in his right mind would want a bitter girl?  This is where I have had to realize that I am okay.  It is so easy to focus on the one and only area that I’m not necessarily satisfied in my life with that I can overlook how God has amazingly blessed every other area of my life.  He has provided me with an amazing job, family, friends that love me, a ministry to be involved with that I love doing and I could go on and on with the blessings.  It makes me wonder why I can’t be content and just happy to be single.  Even scarier…I’m starting to be okay and enjoy being single and I don’t want to be, because quite frankly I don’t want to be called to a life of singleness.    


I just finished reading a book called “Angry Conversations with God” by Susan Isaacs.  It’s a memoire where the writer takes a humorous approach and takes God to marriage counseling because their relationship is messed up.  It’s actually a pretty good book to read. Long story short her life does not go as she wants it to at all, she continually tries to follow God but feels like she gets shafted at every turn with her career and love life.  Her conversations with God in her “counseling sessions” end up with her realizing she and God need a divorce.  Long story short she realizes that she has been viewing God from jaded glasses in a way.  When she viewed God as a father she put her own relationship with her father on God.  When she viewed herself in a relationship with Jesus she put all her past experiences in men/disappointment on that relationship.  Anyways, you get the point.  She ended up divorcing God because she realized she didn’t know Him as who he really is.  She had to learn who God really was rather than viewing Him as what had been portrayed to her by other Christians who had hurt her and her own failed human relationships.


I don’t need to divorce God.  I do think it is an interesting concept of how we can view God differently than He may actually be though.


I’ve started praying differently lately.  Instead of asking God to fulfill my desires (while of course tacking on asking that His will be done), I’ve been praying that He would change my desires to be His desires.  I can clearly see how God has used my singleness over the past years to not only be able to minister to others but also teach me different lessons.  Instead of continually focusing on what I would like different in my life, I pray that God can use me where I’m at.  Because if I am single until I’m 90 I don’t want to look back and think that I was bitter for 70 years about being single!  Instead I’d rather look back and be able to say that I embraced the singleness that God planned for me and that my life clearly reflected Him through being single.

Camp

I had the best week at Bible camp this last week.  I didn’t get to have my own cabin this year and be with a group of girls which I actually missed; but I was in charge of a couple cabins and was able to hang out and get to know a lot of the young girls and counselors from them.  I really enjoyed the new duties this year. 

What I didn’t expect was for camp to be challenging and encouraging all at the same time. This year I was speaking at a workshop for girls.  I was terrified and what I was speaking on is in my opinion one of my greatest weaknesses making me feel a little inadequate to speak on it. There was so much information to give these girls that if I had learned years ago would have saved me a lot of heartache, but a friend pointed out that it’s better to point them in the right direction and try to model it rather than just give them info.  

It amazes me how God works.  I had decided to condense my workshop down and really just talk to the girls and be real with them.  The workshop was supposed to be on Thursday, and due to some scheduling changes we ended up not doing any of the workshops until Saturday.  Between Thursday and Saturday the main speakers at the camp covered a lot of the other topics I thought would be crucial for the girls to hear but didn’t think would be wise to fit it all in one workshop.  I was so amazed, but shouldn’t have been.  I know that God works things out like that.  And the girls didn’t need to hear it from me, they needed to hear it from whatever venue God chose to speak to them from.  It was inspiring to see so many people giving up their time and energy and being used by God.  

It was encouraging to see the worship band be there and not only lead worship but interact with the kids during the week.  There were morning activities, evening games, and videos that were a success due to a lot of hard unacknowledged time and work spent by some amazing men and women.  What was most encouraging was seeing the kids.  I love spending time talking with girls about everything under the sun.  I loved seeing the ones that are generally closed off open up and be more outgoing.  I loved seeing the older counselor girls relating with the kids. I love seeing God’s people, united and serving Him and each other.  It was a pretty encouraging week.

Messy Love

I came across this video a while ago and the song has been stuck in my head this morning so I looked it up again.  I really like the song, but I always thought it was a little simplistic. It sings about how God loves us. But I don’t think God’s love is quite as simplistic as we tend to generalize it.  It is extremely easy to brush over the phrases “God is love” or “God loves you” or on and on, probably because I’ve heard them for my entire life.  There are times when I can comprehend God’s love for me more than other times.  Normally it is when I have gone through something that has hurt me emotionally or made me question life in its entirety.  I experienced this last summer.  I was so sure my life was going to go one direction and it suddenly went a completely different way.

It of course had to do with being interested in a guy who ended up liking someone else.  I think if a guy ever wants to get married he should just have me like them; men seem to meet the one they are going to marry as soon as I get emotionally attached.  I remember mentally yelling at God during this time and basically telling him He didn’t know what it was like to intensely like someone so much and have them not return the feelings. 

Oops. I instantly felt like he was yelling right back at me and reminding me of generations of people who have not loved him back.  There was the first time with Adam and Eve, then the Israelites who were his people that he did more for than I could ever mention in this post, and they turned away from him over and over again….then the people Jesus physically preached to who rejected, beat, and killed him, and then there is us.  Even as Christians it is hard to grasp God’s love.  We try to not conform to those around us, but can end up instead trying to follow too many rules and come across as trying to be better than everyone and judgmental, and because it is impossible to be perfect we can come across as hypocritical.  Instead of trying to follow all of these rules it is just love that God wants from us.  The rest falls in place naturally after that.  I don’t mean just regular love.  When you love God more than anything then you want to love the people he loves.  Us messy, sloppy, problematic humans.  You see others as God sees them and want to love them to the point of putting their needs in front of yours, and not just the easy people to love.  Lastly God reminded me of how often I have turned away and He’s been there for me.  I have definitely done my share of sins and hypocrisy and now continually thank Him for grace and know that I could never be good enough on my own.

 I really like in the clip below how the writer of the song talks about the love in this song being meant as a love that is willing to love something messy, gross, and difficult.  It is easy to love things that are pretty and clean and hard to love the messy.

 

Home Brewed Laundry Soap

A few months ago I found a recipe online to make your own laundry soap.  At first I was skeptical about it working but wanted to try it.  The best part is that it is costing me less than $1.00 to make 2 gallons worth of laundry soap, and it lasted me four months.  Great savings compared to buying it in stores!!!  It works well so far...I'm wondering if it doesn't keep my clothes as bright or my white clothes super white...but it's cheap and makes me feel a little domestic.

I decided to share the recipe in case anyone wants to venture trying it.  I'm not sure how it works for people with sensitive skin (there's my disclaimer!).  Have fun!!!

Ingredients:

The Soap:  One whole bar of Ivory Soap. 

Washing Soda: Not the same thing as baking soda!! Washing soda is a white powder and its purpose is to help remove dirt and orders. I found an Arm & Hammer Washing Soda in the laundry section at Fred Meyer.  I couldn't find it anywhere else but I've heard it is relatively easy to find.

Borax: Also a white powder in the laundry section.  It’s purpose is as a laundry whitener and deodorizer. The brand I found is 20 Mule Team.  

1.    Grate the soap and put it in a sauce pan.  Add 6 cups water and heat it up until the soap melts.

2.     Add the washing soda and the borax and stir until it is dissolved.  Remove from heat.

3.    Pour 4 cups hot water into a 2 gallon bucket. 

4.    Add the soap mixture and stir.

5.    Add 1 gallon plus 6 cups of water and stir.

6.   Let the soap sit for 24 hours and it will gel.  Use about 1/2 cup per load of laundry.


The finished soap is not a solid gel and looks more watery, like egg noodle soup.....

It is a low sudsing soap so if there are no suds in the washing machine that is ok!!  It is the ingredients that cleans the clothes not the suds...I hope.

And also....if you want your soap to have some sort of scent you can add 1/2 to 1 oz of essential oil or fragrance oil of your choice!! I have not tried this part yet, but it is supposed to work.

So there you have it.....cheap, home made laundry soap...it cleans and you can choose your scent. Stay clean!

Financial Management and Buying Goats

Sometimes I think too much.  Sometimes I even think about how I think too much, and I analyze everything.  Sometimes it is good and other times it is really draining. See….now I’m analyzing if it is good or bad that I analyze everything I think about….

This is why I journal or sometimes write; to get it all out of my head or it gets lost who knows where.  My latest thoughts have been an accumulation of different books or things that have come to my attention and trying to process them all.  They all have seemed to go in the same direction though which has had me contemplating our hope, loving others, and really wanting to make a difference in peoples lives. 

I read a book called “Outlive Your Life” by Max Lucado.  Well worth the read.  Basically it talks about how we are average people living regular lives (work, jobs, school) and how we can wonder if God can use people like us.  It addresses the staggering figures of the poor, the hungry, and the lonely.  And how we can help bring hope to the poor and hungry, and just love them. It makes me want to be part of something bigger than being a secretary.  It also made me realize how much I have compared to other parts of the world.  I guess I have always known this, but quite frankly never really thought about it much.

I realized how easy it is to waste money.  I grew up in a pastor’s family with five kids, so we were definitely not well off.  But I never thought of us as poor and compared to others I suppose we were; yet so much richer than a lot of others.  It was a good childhood.  I then moved to NY where I had a really good job and quite frankly did not have to really worry about money.  I could buy whatever groceries I wanted and not have to worry about budgeting for it, I could take friends out for dinners whenever I wanted, I literally went out to lunch every day with co-workers, and I shopped….all the time.  When all my clothes were dirty and I didn’t feel like going to the laundry mat, I just went shopping.  Kinda sickens me now looking back.

I have gotten a lot more conscientious about what I spend my money on now.  I have a strict budge that I either love or hate Dave Ramsey for; I haven’t decided yet! I’ve really been trying to evaluate where my money goes and how I spend it.  Quite frankly a lot of it just goes to apartment bills now….but after being extremely dedicated and making higher payments for a few months now, my car is now paid off!!! It is really exciting but I think I was expecting to feel more excited than I did…because now I have to pay down a little bit of credit card that may take about a year.

It’s been really convicting and a challenge to learn how to prioritize my finances.  And now it has been convicting to try to figure out a way to give to those less fortunate and make a difference by loving people.  There are some amazing organizations out there that I would love to be able to give to.  Organizations that help give water to people in Africa for a year for only one dollar.  ONE DOLLAR!....and then there are some that you can purchase goats and chickens for families to be able to support themselves by selling eggs and milk and cheese at markets.  I probably could have bought three goats for the price of one of my shopping trips that I went on when living in NY.  But even more so I want to be involved in people’s lives and just care about them.  I sometimes wonder what I could even do for others.  But I do know that I have had people in my life who have always been there to encourage, talk, and love me when I feel like my life is nothing like I thought it would be or am tempted to mope.  Maybe following their lead and just reaching out to others is a start…..and instead of binge shopping, I’ll be more intentional with what I buy and maybe have some additional money for some goats that way.

Strengths and Weaknesses

We were given this book to read through and take an assessment on at work a few months ago.  It was called Strength Finders 2.0 and had some interesting concepts.  Basically it talked about how a lot of people know their weaknesses and focus on working to change their weaknesses, but it may be better to work on and grow your strengths instead.

At first I was a little skeptical because I want to work on my weaknesses and feel like I can change things and accomplish something.  That being said…..once I took the assessment I may be changing my mind.  It wasn’t a test assessment as much as it gave you the top five strengths that you are (in the book’s opinion).  The book actually had quite a few strengths listed in it making it so each person’s assessment is unique….it is definitely interesting to take.  

So we received these certificates that listed our top five strengths and a definition of them.  The actual book goes more into detail with how to interact with each other and their strengths and some other good stuff I won’t give away.  What I have discovered once taking the assessment and going over my list of top five strengths is that I actually ENJOY these things that are listed as strengths as well.  

Maybe I wouldn’t have listed them as my strengths, in fact some of them I know that I can be gifted at but they can be scary so I tend to avoid them while knowing I could do well at them (maybe that is a confidence weakness).  So instead of working super hard on my weaknesses and getting frustrated and wanting to improve I have been trying to focus on my strengths and enjoying it.  This does not mean that I am ignoring my weaknesses completely, if anything hopefully deepening my confidence in the strengths I enjoy will not only reduce some of my weaknesses but I will learn how to figure out how I can be most effective in work, ministry, etc…  

Not that these are my only strengths or even that I’m super good at them or anything…. I think they play out in different ways but here are the top five strengths the assessment gave me and that I have been trying somewhat to focus on over the past little bit.

Belief:  We have certain core values that are unchanging. Out of these values emerges a defined purpose for our life.

Individualization: We are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person.  We have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.  

Connectedness: We have faith in the links between all things.  We believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

Responsibility: We take psychological ownership of what we say we will do.  We are committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty.

Developer: We recognize and cultivate the potential in others.  We spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.

So yeah…I’m not necessarily planning my life around these strengths or anything, but it has been interesting to approach things from a perspective of how fit into my weaknesses or strengths.

Chunky Bunny Socks

I received a really cute pair of Easter socks this year in a gift basket.  I do enjoy some good socks.  These socks were hot pink with a cute little bunny on them. Of course I decided to put them on as soon as I had the option to because they are amazing. When I pulled the socks onto my feet the cute little bunny picture on the socks expanded into a chunky godzilla bunny once on my ankle!!

I knew that I had a larger foot size than the average girl, but I never thought of my ankle being able to expand the pictures on the socks before!  It makes me wonder if my scottie dog socks are supposed to have smaller scottie pictures on them....or maybe my polka dot ones are supposed to be smaller dots!  In fact, I bet this is the reason I can never find small striped socks, the stripes probably expand on my huge feet! Just kidding, I don't think I have fat feet....but the bunny did instantly go from thin and petite bunny to chunky bunny once on my ankle.........

Church Services and Children

I have discovered that attending church services with children is quite the undertaking.  I think I have a new appreciation for couples with young children that attend church services.  Today I attended a Maundy Thursday church service while on vacation in Canada.  The service went well.  I got to hold Asher, my friend’s infant son throughout the service as they were both either helping in it or leading it.  Asher of course chose this opportune moment to pee through his outfit.  It didn’t get on me, except it presented the challenge of changing his diaper.  I do change diapers but he wears clothe diapers.  I love the idea of clothe diapers.  Cheaper in the long run but tons of work.  The newer cloth diapers are not just your old white cloths with safety pins that poke.  I’ve never seen so many snaps on a diaper, you could probably form it into any type of shape of clothing depending on how you snap them.

After figuring out constructing a diaper and changing his clothes I went back into the church sanctuary to sit with my friend who was now back at our seats.  Now that Asher was happy, my other toddler godson, Judah, was running around in the back row at church reorganizing all the hymnals in the pews.  He randomly came across a magazine in the back of the row which his aunt tossed over to me so I hid behind my back sandwiching it between me and the pew so that he couldn’t find it and start ripping it apart. 

So here I am sitting at church hiding a magazine by sitting in front of it leaning against the pew.  This was a perfect plan to keep my godson away from the magazine, and it did work.  Part of the service however included a communion service.  During the communion service we left our seats in order to take communion.  As I stood up to leave my seat the magazine fell down on the pew from behind my back, proudly displaying People’s latest addition of “The Hottest Country Men” with a very attractive picture of Keith Urban on the front.  I’m hoping that the usher I awkwardly locked eyes with once the magazine fell from behind my back didn’t notice it.  But how could you ignore a giant picture of Keith Urban being hidden in church? I look forward to kids and marriage someday....but don't know how they keep up with all of it.  I told my friend and their pastor later that I don't know how young families have energy to keep up with their kids.  They both agreed that once you have kids you just seem to find the energy and patience out of necessity...somewhat driven by guilt.  This is so true... probably in more areas of life than just parenting too.  So good to see my close friends and kids for a week though.  Enjoying Canada and looking forward to the beautiful road trip back through the Rockies to Olympia tomorrow.

Road Trips and Toe Lint

This week I made a road trip to Calgary, Alberta in Canada with my room mate to see some really close friends. It was about a 13 hour drive!  We headed out of our apartment by 5:30 with a car loaded of bags, presents and….cookies, pepperoni, water, coke, m&m’s, gushers, and puppy chow (an amazing mixture of peanut butter, chex mix, and powdered sugar).  We went through a coffee drive through to start the day out right and pulled out of town by 6:00.  We then proceeded to blast some music to sing along with, and had some good conversations for the first 5 hours of the drive.  After 5 hours our voices were a little soar for some reason.

So we listened to a few hours of a book on tape. I think my favorite part of the drive was once we crossed into Canada.  The road was curvy and had a beautiful river that was covered in ice along it with mountains everywhere.  And then we got further into the Rocky Mountains.  I don’t think I’ve seen anything quite as beautiful.  I had thought we would just drive through it like we would any mountain pass I’ve been through, but they just kept going and going, and getting prettier. Hopefully it will be nice on the way back and we can get out for a few minutes for a short hike and lunch or something.  On the way up we were so excited to see the kids that we basically only stopped twice for gas (thank you for good gas mileage!) and once for a brief fast food lunch.

After the Rocky Mountains the landscape basically turned into prairie lands, but with some hills mixed in. There was also snow in the fields, which gorgeous next to the tan prairie lands.

When we pulled into Calgary it was really easy to find our friend’s house, except every street in the area was named the same thing but different:  Prestwick Ave, Prestwick Acres, Prestwick Grove, Prestwick Lane, Prestwick Street, Prestwick Village….we stopped looking for the house by street names and went by house numbers while driving around in circles.

We arrived at the house in time to see the boys before they had to go to bed.  Judah was a little shy at first, but instantly warmed up with Katie chasing him around the apartment for tickles and hugs.  He was so excited to show us his new puppy and chattered a mile a minute….I’m sure he at least knew what he was saying.

We stayed up talking late into the night.  It was so good to make it into town and see them again.

In the morning when I came downstairs Judah came running up with outstretched arms to  be picked up.  I loved it….I like to think it was his way of saying good morning instead of really just wanting to be picked up so he could see Karen cooking the eggs in the kitchen.  We then proceeded to the living room where he cuddled in my lap and watched his favorite cartoon.  He then decided to pick lint out of his toes and hand it to me….how could you turn down a present like that?  We then sat down to a yummy breakfast of eggs and homemade cinnamon bread.  Karen is an amazing cook.

So I will try to keep everyone updated with the trip or write about it when I get back.  For now it’s off to see a little bit of the city and a coffee shop with them.  Looking forward to a week of toe lint gifts and relaxing times with friends!

Last April Fools Day Ever

Every now and then I meet my mom for lunch on my hour break.  I love these days, we discuss life, my church, her church, work....etc. My mom proceeds to ask me every time if I have met anyone.  I meet people, but she specifically means a man. I asked if she really thought I would not mention it to her if I had met a guy and she said yes!!  I promised her I don’t live a secret life and am not hiding men that are in my life from her and that I REALLY just know married people or dating couples.  Then to test the waters I asked her what she would think if I dated a 40 year old?  And then she started worrying that I had met a 40 year old man. My poor mother…..I definitely get my teasing from my dad. In all reality, my mom will know right away if I begin dating a guy, she’s a very important part of my life.

So having not really participated in April Fools Day for a while now; I decided to catch up and send out a text to some close friends and family that just nicely stated “I have a date tomorrow night!!!!”  I got a fun variety of responses and thought some of them were worth sharing:

“Who what where when why? We need to meet this guy first.  If he passes the exam you can proceed with the date”  (apparently Josh has a dating application for me that guys have to pass??)
“Finally”, 
“What!?!! With who!?”,
“Really?? Is this where I offend you by asking if that’s April Fools?  If not, yay!”
“WOOHOO. Who’s the lucky man?”
“At the risk of sounding like a HUGE jerk…april fools?  If not…DETAILS!!”
“Speechless J”  Oh Dad….
“Wooohooo go Annie go!!!”
“With a boy?”

My favorite response by far was my mom’s accumulation of texts:

“With who? How exciting, is he 40?" "Where did you meet? I hope you have fun." "Do you know where you are going? So What’s he like? Does he work? What’s the bio on him?”

I carried it on longer with her than anyone else and had to profusely apologize later.  She asked where he worked so I just threw out that he was a youth pastor in the area (sounded good!), and then asked what her thoughts were on a specific denomination.  Unfortunately the denomination I mentioned only has one church in the area…..so I received a text asking what his name was and saying that if he was the one on the website then he was cute!.... "Sure, that's him".... OOPS!  I then received a text from my dad saying that my mom had called twice to ask about this denomination’s theology, and I received a text from my older sister saying that my mom had called her and showed her the website with his picture. Backfired a little bit.

Honestly, I love my mom, and if a guy came into my life that I was interested in and dating she would be one of the first people to know.  She would also probably have to sit through a few phone conversations of me giving her his “bio” before anything ever really developed, because I would WANT to tell her about him.  I know she only asks because she loves me and is interested in my life.

I don’t think I’ll participate in April Fools Day anymore.....this one will probably have been my last...and now if I did have a real date I don't think she'd believe me.  :)

Some Poetry

A little something that my friend sent me tonight.  I came home to some friends over cooking some indian food at my apartment.  So good.  Anyways, we had some good conversations and one of my friends sent me this Youtube video when she got home.  I thought it was worth sharing. :)

Early Mornings

I have discovered that I love waking up early in the morning.  The hardest part is getting out of bed, and honestly it can be a struggle to get up early and really only happens for about half of the week (I’m talking 5:15 AM early!).  When I actually do make it out of bed though I feel completely energized and ready to go once I actually start work at 8.  If I make it out of bed I do the following:

5:15 ---Hit up 24 Hour Fitness and struggle through an elliptical torture machine while listening to some music. 

6:00 ---Hate the gym and leave but love how I feel after working out…as though I could take on the world….enough so to wink at the desk guy on the way out even though I have no makeup on and my hair is all sweaty from working out…..ok the winking part is a lie…but the no makeup and messy hair is a very real and scary reality that I don't care enough to work on that early in the morning.

6:15 ---Have some time to catch up on reading, devotionals, listen to a podcast or journaling.  I’m more productive at this time in the morning, especially if I have made it to the gym and back already.

7:00 ---Get ready for work and actually have time to cook breakfast instead of grabbing something packaged to go.  Occasionally I indulge myself by swinging by the coffee stand on the way to work and picking up some coffee or green tea with an almond croissant…..those are my favorite days but I only do it a couple times a month or I wouldn’t cherish the croissants as much.  They are phenomenal.

It is super hard to get up this early in the morning, but literally by the time I get to work at 7:50 I have a spring in my step.  I find that when I roll out of bed at 7:00 I end up rushing to get to work, am grouchy, and am kind of sluggish all day long.  I don’t ACTUALLY make it out of bed at 5:15 every day but what a difference it makes when I do…..I at least try to get up by the 6:15 time.  I do have to intentionally go to bed early and lay out all my gym clothes or I will use it as an excuse in the morning to stay in bed. 

I have been trying to get up so early because I joined the gym and find that my evenings are so busy I can’t even make it to the gym….it’s actually been a good way to have some time to myself.  I’m thinking of getting a new phone so that I can listen to podcasts and have some iTunes at the gym….I think if I get any phone has been out for the last three years then it will be an upgrade!

Here is a song that has been stuck in my head the last few days and am listening to bright and early this morning!  It is Beautiful Things by Gungor.  They are good.  Listen to them sometime!

For all the Ladies out there

I was emailed the below note at work today. I normally don't pay attention to email chains but thought this one was cute.  As girls, self-confidence issues are never absent, skinny OR chunky!  Hopefully one of these days we can show the next generation of girls that being healthy is more important than looking like a supermodel, that being genuine is more important than popularity, and that loving and reaching out to others is far more valuable than wealth.  Here's to all my beautiful lady friends.  Continue to be your amazingly real selves!

"Recently, in a large city a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.  It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"  A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To whom it may concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.  They have a wonderful time with dolphins and stuffing themselves with shrimp.  They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bearing Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia.  Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.  They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.  They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.  

Mermaids don't exist.  If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex?  Just look at them...where is IT?  Therefore, they don't have kids either.  Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?  

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that we have to be skinny people to be beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends.  With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.  So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.  Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good grief, look how smart I am!"

Benny

I have always wanted to grow vegetables and never tried.  I am incredibly talented at not keeping plants alive.  The only one that has lasted so far is the bamboo plant I have at my office.  But I'm not sure if bamboo counts.  I bought an air plant at a Christmas bizarre that I went to with my mom.  When I say air plant...I mean it should be able to survive my sad plant caregiver skills. It does not need to be planted in dirt and literally just breathes air. See below:

 

Once a week you drench it with water.  This should be a piece of cake.  These small plants can either hang in the air, or you can just set them in a container with no dirt.  The root I was told was really only needed if you wanted to glue them to something!  I don't normally name plants but I named my air plant Benny since I figured this one should be able to last long enough for me to develop an emotional bond with it. 

Unfortunately Benny has not been doing so well.  I should take that back, he was doing well until I pruned him.  I was just trying to prune him and pull off a brown dead leaf and the poor guy's whole root came off.  So now Benny is soaking in water on my desk...I'm hoping it's like a starfish and the root will regrow?? Probably not but worth a shot. I haven't decided if I am just going to never ever name a plant again....or go with Benny II, Benny III, Benny IV, and so on.

Soup. Tomatoes. Olives. Artichokes. Brownies. Ice Cream. Strawberries. Nachos. And more Chips.

Today I had some friends over after church and made a huge pot of Zuppa Toscana Soup.  I made it a little extra spicy today.  So extra spicy that the soup pot poured out steam filled with the smell of the red crushed pepper and made everyone cough and not be able to breath from inhaling red pepper smoke.  Who needs a fire alarm?  Apparently medical masks are needed to survive my cooking.

My friend Alyssa came over to join the soup eating festivities.  I love pregnant ladies, or at least I do until they start eating all my food.  Alyssa, my current favorite pregnant friend, lives across the parking lot from me.  She came over and ate a bowl of soup.  When she was done with the soup she snacked on the cherry tomatoes from the salad..….then the olives.  She would have had more olives but we ran out and she told me not to worry about opening another can when I offered.  She then rummaged through the fridge and found some artichokes (I didn’t even know we had those).  And then found some salsa that she ate with some of our tortilla chips.  Meanwhile, I made some caramel turtle brownies for dessert.  While the brownies were cooking she asked if I had cleaned out the bowl yet.  I hadn’t so she immediately took care of scraping the brownie batter and eating that.  Once the brownies were out, we had brownies with ice cream and cut up strawberries.  She took hers in a to-go bowl and went home for an afternoon nap.

I went to an evening church service and when we got home I received a call from my favorite pregnant friend asking if any of us were hungry. I told her to come on over, we at least had some left over soup if anything.  She showed up and while I was looking around trying to find something to eat she informed me she was thinking of nachos.  So….we proceeded to make some nachos with cheese and salsa and sour cream.  So good.  After I cleaned up all the nacho makings and we were sitting around the table talking….she got the chips and salsa back out to munch on.  I can't wait to be pregnant someday......Sunday eating and napping days sound amazing.  Well, off to restock my fridge....love you Alyssa!

Ignoring Martha Stewart

I have been learning about hospitality this week.  I know this sounds elementary but it is something I have been thinking about.  I love helping to organize events or parties and spoiling others.  It is always stressful but I really enjoy seeing other people have a good time with each other.  What I never seem to remember to do is invite people over or open up my home.  It is normally last minute when people come over and quite frankly, most people have to invite themselves over (which I love!).  What I have been trying to smack into my head lately is that everything doesn’t have to be perfect to invite someone over.  Yes, I prefer the apartment to be clean and I would love to wow them with my best meal, but that is not really the most important reason to open up my home. 

A lot of times when I don’t initiate conversations or reach out to people it’s because I personally can feel self-conscious.  I guess in a way I figure “why would they even want to come over to my house?”  In our society there are many things people can do other than come over to my house.  We’re not exactly the most personal society, we are extremely fast paced and love being efficient.  

I am reading a book by Max Lucado right now called “Outlive Your Life”.  It’s been a good book so far that I would actually highly recommend.  One of the chapters I read this week was on opening up your door and heart to others.  At one point he mentioned that “In a church auditorium you see the backs of heads. Around the table you see the expressions of faces”.  I think I liked this phrase because so many times we can just go to church on Sundays and not even really think about the others in church that are in our church family.  Are we really even mentally present or just waiting to get to the Sunday afternoon nap or football part?  Anyone can put on a happy face on Sunday and who really knows how they are doing?

I realized in a way I need to get over myself with the thoughts of “why would people even want to come over to my house”.  As much as my thoughts are self-doubt they are also excuses for me to stay holed up in my life and not share it with anyone, because it can be dangerously painful letting people too close.

Another part of the chapter that I like was that it stated “When you open your door to someone, you are sending this message: You matter to me and to God.” You may think you are saying, “Come over for a visit.” But what your guest hears is, “I’m worth the effort.”  I have many friends that have invited me over to share in random spaghetti or soup meals that have literally made me feel like I was worth the effort.

So I’m going to try to not listen to my Martha Stewart voice anymore telling me that things have to be absolutely perfect. Because really my life isn’t perfect, whose is?  And I know way too many people that are worth the effort to invite over to ignore opening up my home.  I had made soup the other night before a study that was going on at my apartment.  It was just soup, literally some spices and water that I added noodles to.  Some of the girls that showed up had come straight from work or soccer and were able to grab a bowl, it was a little thing and really didn’t take much time to make but it was nice to be able to do even a small thing like have some good healthy soup for them if they wanted.  It didn’t have to be the Stuffed Cheese Manicotti with Olive Garden Salad and Whine.  It is still fun to be able to spoil people and throw parties.  But I think I will try to be more intentional with having people over with the attitude of “they are worth inviting over” instead of the “why would they want to come over” one. 

Bread Making Night

I am learning how to make wheat bread tonight.  I've made bread before in a bread maker but we are making REAL bread.  It has been quite the process complete with grinding our own wheat.  I didn't even know this was possible without a windmill.  Apparently you can buy (or borrow!) a wheat grinder.  The one we used was a small box and sounded like a vacuum cleaner on the verge of blowing up.  The only problem with making bread is that it takes an hour to rise, and then another ten minutes to rise again, and then has to raise again once in the pan.....so here it is over two hours later and we haven't even put it in the oven yet!  Not sure how practical it is for if you are hungry...but I'm hoping it tastes delicious!  But that's all for now.....just bread making, nothing interesting. :)

Flash Dance Party

I have two new room mates!  They are fantastic girls, and drama free…so far. ;)  A few weeks ago we were all sitting in the living room having a nice quite evening with me reading, and them doing homework and watching TV.  Our apartment door suddenly burst open and in rushed six of our friends holding a bright yellow boombox (complete with cassette player) blasting the song “Everybody Dance Now” and started a dance party in our living room.

This only lasted for the duration of the song since we are all way too old for this behavior now and not in shape for dancing that intensely for longer than one rendition of “Everybody Dance Now”. 

I’m just glad it didn’t happen tonight as I am watching “An Affair to Remember”, an older movie I hadn’t seen yet, and am near tears.  Darn old movies, get me every time.

Random Crazy Thoughts

I know this blog has really been just for a few of us and to have some good laughs.  So excuse me for a second if I get too serious.  I love talking about the crazy things that happen to us in life or that we do.  Honestly I just have a bad memory so part of creating the blog was to help remember all the fun crazy times!

I’ve been somewhat holed up for the last two weeks rediscovering that I like reading (yes, I’ve also been extremely sick so that hasn’t been a lie!).  I’ve read some really good books recently, on theology and opinions, and am just now starting some poetry (I know, who would have thought?...I don’t quite understand poetry yet but I’m only two weeks into my love of reading). 

Anyways, I’ve been realizing something over the past six months that has been really hard for me to take in and understand.  I’ve always wanted to get married.  My dad gave me my second grade drawings of what I wanted to be when I grow up a few months ago that he had kept all this time. It was a story book of me standing at a stove cooking and caring for my family, with three boys and one girl at a kitchen table, and a hamster in the corner..?...  This isn’t quite how I envision married life now but it does show that I had the desire to be loved and cared for from a young age. 

I joke a lot on the blog about finding a guy.  In reality I think it is hard for me to let single men close to me.  The male figures in my life have really been my close married friends.  I cannot express how much they have impacted my life between us all moving across the country to NY to play local concerts and help at a church, sleeping under the stars in Walmart parking lots because vans broke down, relying on each other for strength in good times and hard times, and then being ok with coming back to good old Olympia, WA when it was time.  They have truly been an example of what strong men are.  Just today one of them helped fix a car headlight for me while I laid in bed all day with a fever and watched Jane Austin movies (thanks Josh!).  It was a little act, but meant more to me than anything has in a long time for some reason.      

I bring this up because lately I have been wondering if marriage is not supposed to be my role in life.  Maybe it is and just not right now.  When I picture marriage I picture it as hard.  I picture it as a partnership.  I picture being able to spend time with someone and building a strong family.  I picture being able to teach my daughters that they are beautiful for who they are and to do crazy things like making laundry soap with their mom.  I picture having boys that are smart little witty geniuses (they’ll get that from their father of course).  I picture being able to respect a man so much for his love of God that we could face anything together with God’s help and write a love story together around God.  I picture being involved in his ministry, not necessarily a pastor’s wife because lately I wonder if some pastors even unfortunately get too tied down with church politics.  I picture being able to love others and have an open home for anyone.  It was around this time that I realized I needed to stop picturing things.

Here I am, in Washington’s beautiful capitol city, with amazing friends who love God.  Not only do these friends love God, but they have hearts for reaching people. Over the past few months I have seen God pulling at my friend’s hearts to reach people. Not just reach people, but to combine with other churches, to unify churches to love others instead of segregate themselves from each other.  Just last night we had young adults from multiple churches and backgrounds meet for a worship and prayer night.  I realized that I was so focused on what I wanted my role in life to be as a wife, that maybe this isn’t the role I have been called to yet.  It’s not that I would make a bad wife and mother, it’s just that it may not be my role right now.  My passion is with mentoring young girls, or young female adults, and I have been given such amazing opportunities lately to really get to know some amazing girls and share each others struggles and encourage each other. 

I have realized that I can love and encourage others and open up my apartment to others without having to be married.  Maybe my role for right now is be an encouragement to these young girls, to listen to them, to share in their struggles.  Maybe even to have girl nights and teach them how to make laundry soap! I am not saying that I am writing off marriage, some poor guy has probably been out there waiting for me to grow up and figure out who I am.  What I am saying is that my role in life right at this very second is to be single and I want to do the best at is that I can.  I want to be able to encourage others in our group, and love those people in Olympia that need to be loved (which absolutely terrifies me but I know creates strength).

So…..in addition to all that….part of my new love for reading came from listening to a podcast (I realize I am getting nerdier as this blog goes on), and then researching the speaker who turned out to be an author.  He wrote this book recently called “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years”.  I have not read it yet but am going to add it to my now ever growing list.  There is actually a conference that they put on every year in Portland that I think would be fun for a bunch of us to go to.  I know none of us are rich and can’t really afford it, but maybe we can save up for the 2012 one if they do it and use tax returns or something?  We all do love a good road trip, even if Portland is only a two hour commute away.

I’m going to go ahead and put a link for his book in here and a video to maybe get a free copy of the book.  If I do end up getting one I’m sure I will let you all know because I’ll probably try to convince you all to read it!  Anyways…..this may be the longest blog I’ve written but that’s where I am at in life.  So for the few of us that read actually this…thanks for loving me.

http://www.amazon.com/Million-Miles-Thousand-Years-Learned/dp/1400202981/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_1

Skiing Lessons

This weekend I went on a young adult snow retreat in the mountains.  It was a blast.  I think it was a blast because this is one of the first retreats I’ve been on in a while where I’ve just gone to go and had no one there I was trying to impress.  I could just be myself. 

Unfortunately just being myself brought some interesting things to light in the car ride up that I thought was already common knowledge.  I was a home schooler growing up, and to top that off, I was in a home schooler band.  If that were not the essence of geeky….having an eye patch while being young and in a home school band is.  I wore it because I had bad vision, not because I wanted to.  The boys I rode up with discovered this tidbit of information and ran with it.  When we got to the retreat we did a quick around the circle introduction where we were supposed to say the most interesting part of the drive up….ironically all of their answers had something to do with my childhood, i.e. being a home schooler in a band with an eye patch, and choosing to play the saxophone because it was the closest I could come to in elementary school to saying the word “sex” without getting in trouble and then switching to the French horn because I was told French horn players were good kissers and figured I could use all the help I could get. (Luckily the boys didn’t tell everyone the instruments and the reasons I played them)

I think one of the best parts about being able to relax and be yourself, was I got to know more people, and actually cared about getting to know them.  I had a great time just talking to other girls and not worrying about where someone else in the room was and how I looked to them at the angle I was standing in (yes, it is an effort sometimes).  I also learned how to cross country ski.  I’ve never been skiing of any type before but I have acquired some skiing knowledge though the years.  I heard that if you go skiing and want to slow down you point your skis towards each other to form a pizza shape and that will slow you down.  Apparently with cross country skiing it actually is a bad idea, because it crosses your skis too much and you end up in a wind-milling heap no more than 40 feet into the trip. That was my first lesson.

I was also told that if you want to suddenly stop then you just jab your ski poles into the snow and use your arm muscles to stop you.  Our group ended up going up a back country road hill that was covered in snow.  When we got to the top we realized we couldn’t go any farther and had to turn around to go down.  Brian, the first person to go down, had a bad knee and ended up in a heap on the side of the hill; Josh, the second person down went to assist him and somehow also ended up on the ground.  Being next to go down I slowly started my decent.  I started to pick up a little speed and decided I would jam my ski poles into the snow and stop myself.  Unfortunately while going down hill if you jam your ski poles into the snow to stop it actually has the effect of giving you a quick boost and you go flying down the hill!!  So there I was, flying down the hill, past Brian and Josh, slightly screaming on the way down (I’m sure it wasn’t too loud?).  The end of the hill connected with another road and if you don’t stop there are trees and a sharp drop off.  To avoid hurling into trees and a drop off….I chose to hit a snow pile that flung me on my back and knocked my hat off.  Hearing the cheers from the top of the hill of people that were obviously impressed with my skiing skills was enough to get me back on my feet again.  Every person after me came speeding down the hill and crashed into the snow pile (other than Jason who ended up in the tree limbs and bending a ski pole).  So there you have it…if you ever attempt cross country skiing do not jam your poles into the ground to stop yourself on a hill, and do not pizza stop while on flat surfaces.  Basically once you start you just have to keep going until you tip over....which will happen.

Spaghetti Sauce Overload

I just took a trip to Albertsons this morning because it was advertised that Hunts products were 10 for $10 and if you buy $25 worth of items of select product (ironically, some Hunts ones) then you get a $10 off your next purchase!  With lightning speed I drove down to the store first thing this morning, filled my cart with Spaghetti Sauce, Ketchup, Stewed Tomatoes, and Salsa.  Going through the check out stand I ended up with 25 cans of food, spent $25, AND received a coupon for $10 off my next purchase at Albertsons.  The ad didn’t lie!  What an amazingly successful trip.  What the ad did not warn me about was the cashier that was not rude, but unimpressed with having to ring up that many cans at 8 in the morning, and the unhappy look of the people behind me in line.  I’m not sure if this was because I had practically cleaned out the Hunts Spaghetti sauce, did clean out the Hunts Ketchup, or if it was because they were guys and only had one item each but there was only one check out stand open so they had to wait for my purchase.  I am positive it had nothing to do with my cartwheels and back flips I was practically doing in line once the $10 off my next purchase coupon printed out.  I think it has finally sunk in that coupons…..are free money.